Capetown Daily Journal
Camps Bay to Gramps Bay exploits
27.06.2010 - 04.07.2010
Sunday June 27
Canning’s and Tyner’s are in CT all day today, check in to the frat house early. Awesome views! Team Nichols still on Safari today. McD’s travelling all day, continuing a trip started on Saturday as the USA finally lost. We arrive on time in Amsterdam, but have little time to make connection to the CT flight, must get seats using KLM XFER desk, a process whose stupidity could only be exceeded by a Michigan grad. Can’t get seats together, g-pa draws a middle seat on the 777. Aga gets an aisle on other side of plane. Flight is so longggg, especially after the 8 hour Amsterdam leg. 11 hour flight is peppered with sleep interruptions caused by various fans getting email updates on the Germany game. Pilot is also giving updates. “Please just fly the plane” says gramps. Meet Andrea at the rear galley cocktail lounge, seriously the workers in back have opened up a party area. Aga informs me that the person I keep referring to as “the boy next to me” is in fact a Dutch woman with short hair, who knew?! Arrive to CT and get bags, buy a SIM card, and go secure a driver, he is fairly confused by the directions we show him. But we arrive safe to the compound at 11:20pm greeted by Chris and numerous barking neighbor dogs. Shower and sleep, ahhh, gramps meets Jim C at 3am in kitchen, jet lag requires wine for sleeping, all good here in Jumulani land.
Monday June 28
Chubba wubbas all awake at the crack of 11am. Wow, the mountain and Gramps Bay views are stunning. Nichols will travel inbound today. The rest of us enjoy coffee once gramps and Amy spill 2 batches trying to figure out the dang machine. We pile all 6 in the 4 passenger toaster car for a drive southward toward the point and Simons Town. Tight fit in car, Aga opts for the floor, we make some stops for photos. The weather is sunny 65. We enjoy a visit to the famous penguin sanctuary where they nest in natural splendor in their plastic milk jugs, which apparently help reduce the smell of poop, but I doubt its working. Aga and Amy score at the craft stands with salad spoons. Once we get back to the compound we all get ready for a night downtown at Fan Fest (Dutch game) and a nice dinner. Taxi bus guys speak no English, but their sticker in the car clearly states “This taxi is not a dirt bin”, which is great to know since the car fumes nearly killed us. Chris goes to pick up game tix outside the Fest, as we scramble inside to drink Castle beer and watch Nederland on the big screen TV. Storm clouds rolling in over the mountains, we connect up with Lamachia’s from Cincinnati. After the Dutch victory and much Munt Drop cavorting, we amble about ½ mile to dinner at “Savoy Cabbage”. Wow, awesome dinner, Aga scores a signed cookbook, Amy gets a cabbage salt bowl, the kind you can only buy at thirstygirl.com. The nice waitress soon pegs us as freaks, mostly due to gramps’ bizarre “that’s our boy Charlie” comment. We connect with Team Nichols via texts and emails during latter part of dinner. They are on the way to the house, Jeff’s bag heavier by 1 Brazilian team warm-up courtesy of the Botswana TSA. They get in the house fine, we had set no alarm. Jeff still manages to draw a visit from ADT Security guard, perhaps they know about the Brazil jacket! By 10pm it’s a roaring Castle-fest dance party, g-pa dancing with the wooden hippo. Amy wants to see if wooden cats float in the pool. Jeff brake dances in his Brazil warm-up, OMG hide the disco ball. No really, we hid the disco ball. We hit all the hits from Amy and Aga ipods, then off to sleep by 2am. What a day in Kloof-ville. Lamachia’s stay in guest house.
Tuesday June 29
We sleep late to 11:30am. Where is the cat that pooped in my mouth? (Tyner quote) Ants have taken over our room, we combat them with “can of spray”. Raining today, Nichols first full day in CT. We gear up after coffee for a shopping day down at the Wharf mall. Although quite rainy, we manage to walk the entire wharf in search of lunch. Did I mention this is Chris’ favorite mall? Superb lunch, Irish whiskey for g-pa. Need to bolt home to prepare for the game. Michelle, Andrea, and G-pa experience a true Seinfeld moment in the parking garage looking for Chris who was still shopping. ☺
We get game ready (Spain v. Portugal) by 6pm so we can get over to Camps Bay High School park and ride. Ride down to the stadium with no delay or incident, very efficient! Bud beer exclusively at these tailgate events, we get shut out on the Boars head roll (made that name up). Game is exciting but crowd is in control. McD and Nichols hoof it up to the “Vet 700 level” literally the 2nd to last row of the stadium. Game is cool, Spain playing well. Gramps samples 2 Magnum bars in the first stanza. At halftime we upgrade seats right down next to the others. Spain scores! Dos anyone need a Coke? Or a Coke choreographed dance routine? You can only converse if you take out the ear plugs, thanks to you Mr. Vuvuzela inventor! The bus trip back from park and ride is a breeze. We are home to enjoy a night cap and a Magnum bar. Off to sleep in Bafana land.
Wednesday June 30
Today is wine country day, we are all up at 7am for coffee and showers. The ants in the room have gone away and made room for gramps’ Chinese laundry mat style travel clothesline. Indiana Jones has one. Rain is gone, its cool and cloudy am – very sunny by mid day. We have a nice taxi bus piloted by Ryanne a nice local chap. Our first stop is Ernie Els winery, wonderful layout & modern comfort. Coy ponds, cushy chairs, gramps rings the huge bell in lobby – that “Shark” golfer sure makes great wine! The next stop is way off the beaten path down mud roads and forests, up and down hills, ask for directions. Wonderful proprietor, small winery, way different that Ernie Els, more like an uncle who does wine in his basement. Great fun here. Next we are off to lunch at Graff (Diamonds). Probably the nicest, off the hook place we will ever go. See the article in Opulent Living South Africa magazine. Awesome table next to the turtle human hand statue. Fabulous mountain views, attentive service, and plush bathrooms – the Big 3! Lunch news flash, gramps threatens to perform the hippo dance after lunch. Grab photos outside, we are on the move to 3rd winery. It’s a wonderfully laid out old farmstead, replete with a nice cat that gramps steps on and damn nears kills. Jeff and g-pa sit out this tasting, just pacing ourselves for Magnums later. Off to the last place, which is much like an art museum and eccentric rich person bunker like in Austin Powers Dr. Evil fortress. The elevator is out of Star Trek. The facility is controlled by “Vin Wizard” software. Now late afternoon we are driving home enjoying the Fancy Digest magazine. We interrupt in order to pull over to see some crazy horny ostriches running. “Buy – a – dunkee” means “thank you very much” in Africans, which I will say once we reach home after a long day. We are all a little tired, which is cured by more wine and beer. At 10pm we venture out in search of pizza carryout and some Magnums at the Pick n Pay. Anyone want to watch the soccer channel? Super high winds – seem like they could blow over our entire Chinese laundry operation. Off to bed by 11 as we have Table Mountain tomorrow. Good night Armadillos.
Thursday July 1
Up at 8am for coffee and choco sprinkles, Jeff finds ESPN channel on the Telefunkin. We need to be 9am AIS (ass in seat) for the hike up Table Mountain, which is the prelude to the later day activities of feet scraping (pedicures) and butt waxing. Arrive at mountain at 9:15am, wall to wall cars on the road, beautiful sun everywhere. Chris gives us one last warning about the difficultly of this climb, but the warning goes un-heeded. After the first 75 steps, Jeff has some serious reservations due to his knee. Gramps also wants to bail but is unable to speak due to exhaustion. 100 yards later Jeff has jettisoned the Duke sweatshirt and Sandy changes clothes behind a bolder in plain view of the cable car passing directly above our heads. The hike is spectacular but extremely arduous. Gramps invents many new colorful ways to describe it, many begin with Christian leaders, carnal acts, or both. 3 hours later we reach the summit and meet up with Aga and Michelle, who are clearly the smarter of us, as demonstrated by their line cutting savvy. Jeff discovers a posted park sign that describes the “Pugnacious Ants”, Blister Bush”, and “Mountain Pride Butterfly” found in that park, three groups we had no idea were touring SA this summer. Lunch at the summit includes gramps’ TV Bars and wine, hurry, its spa time now. Cable car ride down is way nicer than walking up. Chris drives the ladies to 12 Apostles for spa day, Jeff rehabs his knee with ice packs. The boys enjoy sunset from the upper deck of the compound, while the ladies enjoy it from the deck at the 12 Apostles, which is Dutch for “disposable under pants”. The dinner is fabulous at 12 Apostles, we enjoy prawns on elaborate skewers, dry ice fog sorbet. Jack Street is our stiff of a waiter, we reward him with our awesome American humor. Sandy actually can’t breathe and is rushed to the ladies room from laughing attack. We also learn that full bowls of mints are free here, we may come back for more if we decide to use the pool passes. Michelle and Jim retire early as they are just hours away from 4am Shark bus, while rest of group decorates the giraffe with souvenirs from the day. Another fine day in Xhosa-doobieville.
Friday July 2
Because we are in separate groups today, the writers have decided to create parallel universe story lines that may not represent reality. Its groundbreaking story telling!
• Jim and Michelle enjoy a wonderfully long drive to Shark Zone dock where they hunt and kill a 20 foot predator that had injured some bathers. “Now eventually you might have sharks on your, on your shark tour, right? Hello? Yes?”
• Chris opens a Table Mountain Sherpa service that opens at TEN O’CLOCK.
• Andrea contributes an article to Fancy Digest on international line cutting.
• Jim C is invited to appear in studio on FIFA Game Day to discuss his contention that 90% of half of penalty kicks are missed.
• Jeff passes up a lucrative offer from ADT Security to be a home alarm tester to instead follow the Pugnacious Ants on tour in Zimbabwe.
• Sandy is hospitalized for laughing too hard, while in the hospital she is asked to lecture on nude co-ed spas around the world.
Top 10 Quotes (or otherwise ridiculous happenings from the week)
1. Dance party, hippo dancing, Lady Gaga, & giraffes wearing underwear.
2. Jeff’s discovery that there is already in fact a thirsty girl concept and web site. Dang it.
3. Jim C quote when asked to give a report on the team status during a rest stop on the Table Mountain hike: “It looked good on paper”
4. Jeff quote 75 yards into that start of the same hike: “Seriously, I’m not sure about this”
5. Holy S#%t , Gramps may need an I.V. of fluids on Table Mountain !
6. We’ll be back tomorrow to use our pool pass buddy!
7. “this taxi is not a dirt bin”
8. “I think we need a running race on concrete”
9. “I’m going out for Magnum bars, we are down to just 10 left, we may need more”
10. Pugnacious Ants. Enough said.
Posted by axiagramps 11.07.2010 08:58 Archived in South Africa
